Week 2 – Yikes I'm Gaining!

I have completed Week 2 of my 12 Weeks to Weight Loss and Wellness workbook and had my second session with Claudette. Yikes! I realized that I am gaining! Expanding! For the first time in my life I am happy about it. I am expanding the way I view my life. Gaining a new perspective. It is not always comfortable or easy, but overall this is what I have been looking for. The workbook this week definitely wasn't easy. It was about staying motivated, defining a realistic goal and determining core values.
Motivation right now is tough for me. Normally I tend to be an all or nothing type of person. Right now I find that I am not capable of the energy needed to maintain an all or nothing attitude in any part of my life. It is hard to get motivated if you know that the effort can't be what you want it to be. Claudette asked if I would consider myself a perfectionist. At first I scoffed at the idea, moi??? I never achieve perfection. She then explained that perfectionism is continually searching for perfection, not achieving it. Oh...I started to connect the dots. Ha! She hit the nail on the head!
My expectations of myself are extremely high and when I can't meet them exactly, WELL! I am an obvious failure, surely everyone will notice and be totally disapointed in me (you have just met my inner teenager, she is quite the drama queen). Thinking back, there were times that I achieved or surpassed my own expectations, I would give myself a mental “high five”, then I would set an even higher standard for myself. Coocoo for CoaCoa Puffs! What a downward spiral.
At least now I can see that change would be good, small steps! I need to be more loving and less of a disciplinarian all the way around. It is going to be hard to tone down my inner dominatrix, get her to store the whip, but I'll get there. I think that the 80/20 rule from the workbook (page 16) is really going to help, it is brilliant! It sounds fair reasonable, I like fair and reasonable! I can make healthy choices 80% of the time, and I'll work on making the 20% guilt free.
Knowing this helps me move on to the goal setting phase of Week 2. This part of the workbook goes through being realistic about expectations and setting goals. There is a lot of good information here including... “We want to believe in magic, but there is no magic when it comes to weight loss.” Giggle, obviously I'm not the only one out there who wants a magic wand! The word real is found in realistic for a reason! It is comforting to know that I am not alone. In fact I mentioned to Claudette that it seemed like this chapter was written with me in mind.
There is an excersize asking you to write down your weight loss goals and objectives, then you flip the page and they ask if your goals reflect strong inner values or do they reflect external motivators (to visit and old friend looking like Cindy Crawford). Then it asks if you need to “revisit” your goals. Ha... you bet I had to. Remember Week 1 and how I was a little confused about core values? Well, now I know why they were mentioned. It is necessary to know what your inner values are so that you can set goals to reflect them. Your core values help motivate you to keep making those healthy choices and meet those goals. It is necessary to get in touch with them. If you set goals not in touch with your core values it is almost like you are out of phase (ooh Trekkie leak), out of sync with your self. How the heck am I going to stick to any goal if it does not jive at my core. Bingo!
Now what are my core values? Claudette and I spent the majority of our session on this. I would think I was on the right track then as we spoke it turned out to be a need, not a value. It got a little confusing for me, this is where having a coach to offer support and suggestions is of great value. The gem for me this week is that most of ones core values are set by the age of 7. Wow, that was a long time ago. I can really see how living to meet external motivators and the stress of daily life can cloud over core values, making them hard to see. I realized that I have to find my sunshine. It is somewhere behind my clouds. When I can feel the warmth, it will be much easier for me set valuable goals and achieve them. Claudette gave me an additional worksheet to help determine my core values. Cool, bonus material! I am going to work on finding my values and move on to Week 3.
Whew, I don't mind this kind of gain at all!